Communication in Relationships

If any relationship, particularly marriages and partnerships, is going to thrive, there must be communication. It is KEY. Communication is not one-sided – if one person is talking, the other should be listening. You both have to talk, you both have to listen.

The big part of communication with your significant other is to ask them questions. How do you feel about this? My husband is not going to be able to be present when I’m looking for a place to rent, but he needs to be part of the decision because we both will be living there. So I asked him what were some things he wanted in the house. I know what I want, but now I can include what he wants too. We’ve also discussed what is an absolute must and what we can live without. While I’m looking at these places, I will be taking pictures of them so I can show them to him online and we can pick a place together.

Decision making is a big part of any relationship. You have to make decisions together. Figure out what you want to come out of the decision then ask what the other wants. Be sure that you both know what the other wants.

Money is the number one reason why 52% of marriages end in divorce. Budgets or spending plans need to be gone over together. One person may be more financially inclined, but both people need to be involved so that they both know where the money is going. My husband lets me do the budget because I am that person. I’ve devised a plan that works pretty well for us and I try to show it to him every once in a while so he has an idea of where our money goes, but he’s not all that involved. I want him to be more involved. He trusts me completely with our money (trust is a big part of communication), which I am grateful for, but this is a team effort. I really want to crack down on our spending so we can start seriously paying off our student loans and I can’t do that without him. However, our debts overwhelm him when he looks at them. He clams up whenever I try to discuss money with him. To help with this, I asked him what would help him not get so stressed over money when we talk about it. He told me that we should discuss money/our budget on a low stress day after dinner. That is something that is very doable. And now he understands that I really want to do this together because doing the budget by myself can overwhelm me sometimes. So he’s going to try not to clam up during our meetings.

The whole communication thing is all about finding out what works for you as a couple. I recommend taking a compassionate listening class because it gives you some really great tools to help you communicated not only with your spouse, but people in general. It has helped me. In the past few months, the communication between Jason and I has exploded. It is allowing us to grow together as a couple. That is what marriage is about, being partnered with someone who will help you grow and vice versa. The way to accomplish that is through communication.

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