I know that I have heard that quote many times. “Happiness is a choice.” It truly is. It is the quote on the top of my page today.
This morning, I woke up very early. I have no idea why. I went to bed between 9 and 10 and then woke up and could not get back to sleep. So I started thinking. It’s a dangerous thing, thinking. My mind kept going over how hard of a time I had been having with SAD. But you know what, I think there was a little bit of regular depression a long with it. I kept thinking “I have to fight it, it can’t win. I am being weak for not doing better.” Then it occurred to me that I have won against the darkness within me. There is no other choice. I won.
My path is a difficult one. Many will start along it, but almost none finish it. There are strict morals and requirements to become a priestess in my tradition. The further I journey, the harder it will get. Strength is a must. I won because to me there is no other choice. There is no one else who can do what I can do, what I am meant to do. I fight against the darkness for balance in the world. To succumb would mean failure. There is no room in my soul for that.
Darkness will always be there, it is a part of me, as it is everyone. I have accepted it, but it will not control me.
There will be times in the future when I will struggle with the darkness inside of me. But I will always win.